Fuzz at Math
Richie's Take:
Elly
is going to bore you with stats about how the Elves couldn't beat Math the past
few years. And that's true, we couldn't. But the Elves are as dead as
Danielle's idea to rename the 2nd division something other than, "The
Division Formerly Known as the Newman Division." Or TDFKatND for
short(er). Anyways, which jerseys is
Math going to wear? I hope they wear their new equal sign jerseys. We are in
the process of getting ">" jerseys. Why strive for equality when
you can be better than? Anyways, Math will catch a little break because Steve
is out. Steve is kinda like a faster, younger Langer. You know, >
version. But it’s not just Steve who is
>. Fuzz is more ethnic than Math. Did you know Gil is Cuban and is a great
salsa dancer (seriously)? Is Brad Cuban? Can he salsa? No, and no. Gil >
Brad. I squat more than Derek and I'm pretty sure Alyssa is taller than
Michelle. Plus everyone loves the Fuzz. So
wear your = signs Math. We'll stick to >.
Derek and Eli’s Take:
Crickets…
Fresh Kills at Rehabs
'My son Gabriel has taught his fellow Kills how to put multiple plums in the basket.'
This
is Game of the Week material. The Rehabs are the opposite of Norm from Cheers.
When Norm walked into the bar, everyone screamed,
"NOOOOOORRRRMMMMM!!!!" He was fat, cuddly, lovable, drank a lot and
most importantly, everyone knew his name.
No
one knows the new Rehabs name. But they are athletic, hate to cuddle, ruthless
on the courts and probably drink vitamin water. But two dudes named Carlton and
Alex scored two goals each last week vs. the Sky Fighters. Watching the game
was like watching tic-tac-toe. The men on the Rehabs embrace the coed part by D
to D passing to Sena and try to get it to Ryann on a break whenever possible.
New girl Monique is sorta the Carl Hagelin type, just trying to forecheck and
eat rebounds in front of the net. And on the rare times things break down, Eric
R. is in net. The new media might not like this, but congrats $h0wT!m3, you
built yourself a powerhouse.
Meanwhile,
Fresh Kills is still the best franchise in the league until someone knocks them
off. They won’t have Gabe next week (spoiler), but Tom R., Sheena and of course
many other FK's can put the ball in the net. I think this game will come down
to two things: Skill and Desire. The Rehabs will beat the Kills in both this
Sunday. However, that may not be the case if they meet in the playoffs.
Prediction: 3-2 Rehabs.
Gremmies vs. Butchers
Here's the plan: pass it to Pete or pass it to Drake.
Instant Karma plays at 4:30 and this game is at 2, so Jamie should be fresh for the Gremlins. The thing about the Gremlins is they don't have a lot of elite talent on their team, but they can beat any top division team (like the Demons in last year’s playoffs) because they typically play solid D and Jamie stops a staggering 91% (calculated by Glanzermetrics) of opponent’s shots. Erich may spell his name weird. (Hell, he does spell his name weird.) And so does Maire. (It's actually pronounced Mora.) I don't get it. And for that reason, I feel Pete and Drake will score and Tim will come up big for a 2-1 victory for the team everyone hates, the Butchers. (If we say it, it must be true, right?)
Prediction: The team the Fuzz love to hate
will win 2-1.
LBS, Inc. at Denim Demons
Tink,
Kamen, Lee, Paul, Coach, Holmstrom, Dandeneau all gone, and yet the Demons are
still atop of the BTSH standings. More importantly, how are the
Demons so good? Is Josh really that good? No, he's not. I mean he's good, but
not that good. Ne guys Eric, Jake,
Brad and Katie are more than holding down the fort for the new look Demons. Who
btw, have the best new shirt in BTSH.
Meanwhile,
over in LBS land, the Old Man Karst(i/a/o/e)n told all the youngins he still
got it, by cashing in a hattie last week. Hopefully Isaac gave him a star, he
deserved it. (Ahem, he received an honorable mention.) While Tim B. is no Tim
K., he's still really good. But as Tim K. likes to tell everyone, he led
Filthier to the championship last season. Speaking of champions, will Elizabeth
B. be the first female BTSH Hardcore Champion? Did you see her guns in the Facebook site video? I have to say though, I know women like it when men
tell them to smile more, but you need to smile less, in that video at least.
You are supposed to be tough! You can't break kayfabe and smile at the end.
Prediction: LBS take this one 4-2.
Corlears Hookers at Gouging Anklebiters
Round 2: Fight!
Hold your horses all you sabermetric geeks. The Hookers are still really good. Last week Eitel pumped three past Jamie (while he was playing on his other team, the Gremlins). Tiffany who is now officially old school got two, and Sarah scored one as well. Even some girl whose name I don't know scored. I just know she's not good at hockey. Or any other sport.
Meanwhile,
the Anklebiters lost to Mega Touch. GOOD GAME MEGA TOUCH! (Check out that video on the Facebook site.) While most teams would have went home and
ran laps after getting shut out, the Anklebiters karaoke'd instead. It's this
type of lack of discipline which will cost them the championship that Worky,
Phil, and Schuey constantly talk about. That said, I think Probie and Derho
show up and Eitel doesn't.
Prediction: So, Anklebiters 3-2 in OT.
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